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  1. So relationships, this is a hard one to write about. We all have them, with families, boyfriends, spouses, friends, and co-workers. So I am going to start with relationships with  my spouse, maybe you can relate maybe not, either way its nice to know no marriage is perfect. In this first blog post I will give you a break down of my marriage and life struggles with my husband then later I will give advice on how to keep yours strong as well as working through the rough spots. :) Sorry this is gonna be long! 


        I remember the first time I started dating my husband, everything was wonderful and early love is just AMAZING. My Mom used to say that "bluebirds are just flying out your ass." Nothing can go wrong and they can do no wrong. Then comes being engaged, a little stressful since we were tight on money and had a hard time with the planning of the wedding since we only had a month to plan. ( Wasn't pregnant just was having disagreements with my family and had to move in with him, so not a Shot Gun wedding. :) ) His family is super religious and doesn't believe in co-habitation. So in order for me to live there we had to start planning our wedding.


        A month later, (VERY STRESSFUL MONTH LATER) we were getting married. I didn't care much for my wedding since I wanted an out door wedding, and it was February in OREGON, so we ended up saying "I do" in a church, with flowers that just weren't what I wanted, and the only family from my side there was my non-existant father, (hadn't seen him since I was 13 prior to that day) and his now divorced wife, who happens to be in almost ALL of the pictures. Ok so you get it, my wedding was far from what I wanted, and I will admit I was miserable, but I was marrying the man I love, so it made it all ok. I mean whats a wedding? Right?


        I have heard before if your wedding sucks its a sign that your marriage will be great. So I figured hell, I am in the GOLD for married life! I had this philosophy when I got married always have sex with your husband and keep him from straying. Sounds good right? Lol, I had major trust issues to work through since I had a father who cheated on my Mother 3 months after I was born. So what made me think that my new husband wouldn't do the same? 


         Three years and two quads later. Having 15 months of trying for a baby and just about to give up when walla we were pregnant. ( It was mostly me since every month I didn't get pregnant I gained another 15 pounds from depression which hindered my ovulation. ) So We walked on air, I had a text book pregnancy, morning sickness sucked but it happens, as soon as 14 weeks went by bam gone. He came out perfect as can be, 10 fingers 10 toes. Never were we more in love! Then in 2008 my husband was laid off from his job. We just bought an F 350, and were buying our house. So we were STRAPPED. 
        
         Stress is never easy on a marriage, and the biggest stress causer is MONEY!! My husband ended up being laid off for three months then brought back for two then laid off for three more. In this time we decided to go camping out in the boonies with my Mom and Dad (step but more like my Dad then my real Dad) and take our quads. Well we went up and the next night we took our rides out and went for a quick ride. My bike stalled ( bad battery) and I had my husband try and push me to get the thing pop started. I couldn't get it done so my husband jumped on it, I pushed and he got it started. I let go of the quad and next thing I knew I was on the ground. I dislocated my knee... That moment changed the rest of my life, I now have permanent drop foot, and a wobbly knee that will never be normal. I have a hard time chasing after my little guy and can't take him to the park alone for fear of him running toward the road. 
          
          Reason for this story is my husband was laid off at that time and we couldn't afford the cobra insurance his job offered laid off workers, 1600 dollars a month ON DISCOUNT! So at that time I was uninsured, now I am indebted to the hospital for over 14,000 dollars and we are slowly paying it off monthly, 200 bucks at a time. Barely scrapping by and this has probably been the hardest on our marriage. He makes about 10 dollars an hour less then he used to, and I am disabled so no work for me. He had to take care of me, and our then nine month old little one. I admire his strength and the fact that he didn't crack under the pressure of taking care of a baby and a cripple wife. 


         Two years later and discovering that marriage is hard, but so worth it!!  My husband never has strayed, we have a beautiful son, and a little one on the way. We had our challenges, and had to get to know each others other sides, not the perfect sides we all show while dating, and I am not going to lie, sometimes I wanted to leave, and I am sure he felt the same way. But so far we have worked through our problems and kept it going strong. Since my accident I actually look at life in different eyes, I love everyday and just love being a Mommy, and Wife! So here is my huge long book of a story and hope it wasn't too boring to read! :) I will start soon on giving advice on keeping your marriage strong as well as your relationships with others! :)   FM Brandy Hayward

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